Things that Grind My Gears, Part I

Newton's Law of Cooling

It sucks and it is always frustrating me. How many times I've gone to eat a bowl of soup, needed to wait twenty minutes before it's cool enough to consume, and then *bam* it's cold before I'm even finished. Newton's Law of cooling states that the rate of change of the temperature of some object is proportional to the difference between the temperature of its surroundings and its own temperature; dT/dt=k(T(air)-T(object)). Let's take the example of soup. Let's say that soup is heated to 93 degrees C, and the room temperature is 25 degrees C. The change in temperature of the soup (dT/dt) is -68k, where k is some positive constant. Well, okay, this makes sense; the soup is cooling. But here's the problem: k is proportional to the amount (volume) of the soup, so that when I have a full bowl of soup, it cools much slower than when I have half a bowl left. As I mentioned in the beginning, I have to wait a long time for the soup to cool down to eating temperature, and when it does do so, it's like a race against the clock for me to finish it before it gets cold.

I think this is a pretty good argument against intelligent design. Why? Because if there is an intelligent designer of the universe, he would not make it this difficult for me to eat soup. Instead, he would make it so that when the bowl of soup is full, it cools pretty quickly. That way I won't have to waste my valuable time waiting for my soup to be eating temperature. And once it was cool and I started eating it, a good designer would make it so that my soup wouldn't cool as quickly. Then I wouldn't have to eat it really fast and get a tummy ache after. Because that makes me sad. In conclusion, if there were an intelligent designer, it would not be as difficult for me to eat soup.

(note: to those of you that freak out about nothing, this is a farce. I am using inverted logic. It is ironic. Ha ha.)